


just a girl (that means the world)

by exarite



Series: Naruto Tumblr Prompts [8]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, Denial of Feelings, Didn't Know They Were Dating, F/M, Hate Sex, Hate to Love, Love Confessions, Love/Hate, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, same age au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-04-20 06:16:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14254761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exarite/pseuds/exarite
Summary: It takes them moving in together and co-raising a dog for Kakashi to realize that they might be dating. That can't possibly be right, he thinks.Or:Same age AU with Kakashi too busy proving thatno, he definitely didn't like her, not at all, to realize that he was actually, maybe, just a little in love with her.





	just a girl (that means the world)

**Author's Note:**

> prompt from bouncyirwin: KakaSaku, same age AU, smut Prompt: “You know, when this is over, we should really have angry sex.” Kakashi and Sakura are at each other's necks every mission, but mostly because they find each other attractive.

  
"You know, when this mission is over, we should really have angry sex," Sakura said conversationally.

Kakashi's head turned and he gave her a Look. She grinned at him tauntingly and he narrowed his eyes.

"You can't even keep up with me now, Haruno, what makes you think you can keep up with me in bed?"

She gaped. Haughtily, Kakashi turned away from her and launched himself into the fray.

"Most kills gets to do whatever they want to the loser!" Kakashi called out and Sakura scowled. She pushed herself off the branch and slammed heel first into the ground, an earthquake knocking everyone out of balance.

Easily, Kakashi launched himself upwards and landed primly on the nearest bandit, his white sword flashing in her peripheral as he took him out. Sakura scowled, even as a part of her couldn't help but appreciate the intensity of his gaze and the way the muscles in his arms bunched and flexed as he moved and cut down the motley group they had been sent to take care off.

She turned back to her own group, and with a renewed fire, raced towards them, fist cocked backward as she concentrated chakra into it, ready to pummel her way to the top.

Kakashi won by two--but only because he stole Sakura's kills, damn it!--and once the last bandit was flat on the ground and they were sure everyone was taken care off, he pressed her up against the nearest tree, shoved his hand up her shirt and pressed his masked lips against hers.

Sakura promptly bit down on his bottom lip and took advantage of his distraction to shove a hand down his pants and wrap it around his hard cock.

She tried to yank down his mask, but Kakashi's hand flew upwards and grabbed on to her the moment she even touched it, his grip bruising around her wrist. He glowered, eyes narrowed at her and Sakura froze, wondering what exactly she did wrong.

"Mask stays on," he grunted, arm up against her chest as he kept her pinned to the tree.

"Really?" Sakura made a face, but anything else she was supposed to say died away as Kakashi slipped his hand up her skirt and into her shorts, his callused fingers rough against her folds.

"Oh god," she groaned, thrusting her hips up into his hand as she tightened her grip on his cock. "Fuck, fine, I don't even care, keep your mask on."

He slipped a finger inside of her and Sakura keened, throwing her head back and revealing her long neck, marred with dirt and sweat, and Kakashi really shouldn't want to pull down his mask just so he could taste and bite and mark the expanse of it, but he did, fuck he did.

"Just don't stop," Sakura gasped, her grip firm as she twisted her hand, the head of his cock catching and sending delicious bursts of pleasure down his spine. Just as she started to shudder and shake against him, her core clenching against his fingers rubbing and pressing up into her, Kakashi abruptly pulled away. Sakura cried out at the loss, her hands reaching out to try to hold him against her but Kakashi persisted.

He yanked his hand out of her shorts and stood a few feet away, faux boredness on his features as he shoved his hands into his pockets. He raised an eyebrow at her, even as his dick strained against the confines of his pants.

"Mission comes first, Haruno," he smirked. "Let's go."

Sakura stared at him in shock, still trembling slightly. She pushed herself off the tree, and Kakashi's eyes caught on the way her legs shook, still unsteady from being pushed to the brink of orgasm and left there, unsatisfied and aching.

"I hate you," Sakura declared, voice breathy and rough. Her hands clenched at the fabric of her skirt still rucked up her thighs and she glared at him, eyes hazy with anger and unfulfilled lust.

"Don't worry," Kakashi replied. "You won't be saying that tonight."

*

He was wrong.

"Fuck, I hate you," Sakura panted, her cheek pressed against the cheap sheets of the inn and her voice muffled.

Kakashi twisted his fingers inside of her and rubbed hard at the spot inside of her. He sucked hard at her clit and Sakura keened, her hips moving and bucking into his hand and his mouth and Kakashi smirked against her folds.

"Sorry, what was that?"

"I hate you!" Sakura sobbed, clenching on to the sheets. "Please fuck me, please, Kakashi," she begged and Kakashi pulled away, only to rub at her clit with tight little circles.

"Haruno Sakura, _begging_ ," he murmured heatedly, his grip tight on her hips. "No one will believe it."

"Fuck you," Sakura gasped, and pushed back against his crotch, her ass rubbing against his hard length.

"No," he corrected, in that exact tone she fucking hates hearing from him during missions, all full of upright condescension. "I'm fucking you."

And with that, he guided his cock inside of her, his thick length spreading her open with its width, and reaching parts of her she only ever dreamed of.

Sakura moaned, the sound loud and wanton and Kakashi squeezed his eyes shut, trying to keep from spilling inside of her.

"Come on!" Sakura whimpered, pushing back into his cock and squeezing around him. "Fuck me!"

"So impatient as usual," Kakashi muttered. He spread out a hand over the small of her back and pushed her down before he yanked her hips up. He moved, leaning in until his back was almost pressed up against hers and Sakura made a low noise of pleasure. His body covered hers easily, muscle against muscle and sweat-slick skin sliding against each other.

"God, you feel so good, fuck, I hate you," Sakura muttered in a feverish daze as Kakashi started to move, quick hard thrusts fucking up into her tight core. She keened and moaned underneath him, her body writhing underneath his and Kakashi slipped a hand underneath her to grasp at her breast, his fingers playing with her nipple.

He fucked her like a man on a mission, hard and rough and deep enough that she was crying out and sobbing, her whole body played so easily in his hands. They should have done this earlier. If Kakashi knew she felt this good, he would have done something about the insane sexual tension earlier, just to get it over with.

He reached down in between her legs and pinched at her clit, fingers rubbing at the slick button as he forced her to the edge and he watched her body start to tremble, loud moans spilling out of her lips as he touched her and continued to thrust into her.

"Come on," he grunted, the movement of his hips turning erratic as her clenching around him drove him insane. She was dragging him along with her to the edge, and Kakashi couldn't do anything but follow her into it.

"Fuck, I'm so close," Sakura gasped into the sheets, her back arching underneath him as she spread her legs even weirder. "Just like that. Just like that, please, Kakashi, god, fuck--"

He rubbed her harder and reached out with his other hand to pull her head back, the strands of her hair in between his fingers.

"Ah!" Sakura cried out, her body tensing and her pussy clamping down tight around his cock, her eyes rolling into the back of her head and her jaw becoming slack as she fell over the edge, Kakashi right beside her.

Kakashi pressed into her, shuddering slightly as he spilled into her warmth, pleasure making his brain light. He dropped his head on his shoulder and exhaled, body lax in contentment. After a few moments, he pulled out and collapsed beside her to stare up at the ceiling.

There was a moment of silence as they both enjoyed the afterglow of their orgasms, Kakashi's breathing slowly evening out until what they had just done suddenly clicked into place. He stiffened.

He cleared his throat. "Thank you," he said awkwardly, his voice raspy. Sakura didn't respond, only buried her head in the pillow and nodded. He could see the tense lines of her shoulders, the rigid straightness of how she held herself still on the bed. He winced and rubbed at the cloth of his mask.

Well. That was that he guessed. Surely the unresolved sexual tension between them was over and dealt with now.

This was never going to happen again.

*

_It totally happened again..._

"Fuck," Kakashi hissed and pressed up tighter against her in the dark alcove they've managed to wedge themselves in.

"Shut up!" Sakura snarled, breath hot by his ear as she shifted against him, her body wiggling.

They both felt the coming guard at the same time and fell silent, even their breathing without noise. Kakashi's eyes flicked to the side thoughtfully, his brain running through situations on how they could possibly save this. The fact that his leg was slotted up in between her thighs and her breasts were pressed up against his chest meant nothing. He definitely wasn't distracted by it or the hot puffs of air near his ear, even if it sent shivers down his spine.

"Wait, let me--" Sakura slipped her arms in between them and Kakashi grunted as she jostled them but leaned back to give her space. Her hands flashed through a set of signs and he narrowed Obito's eye. Ah. Genjutsu.

He felt the tendrils of it slide over his skin but Kakashi didn't relax. He stayed tense, ready to attack at any point, but when the sentries passed by without incidence, he let himself exhale.

"Look who's hard," Sakura mocked, and emphasized her point by rubbing her thigh up the length of his dick. Kakashi hissed and pulled away from her, shuddering slightly.

"Shut up," Kakashi grunted.

"Hate you, asshole," Sakura snarked and Kakashi's lips pursed.

"Hate you too." His eyes dragged over the length of her body, eyes pausing over the swell of her breasts hidden beneath her vest, and her wide hips. She flushed at his attention. "Let's go."

"Go?"

He glanced back at her. "Let's finish the mission so we can fuck."

She gaped. He continued walking and Sakura raced up to catch up to him.

(Later:

"Shut up," Kakashi breathed in her ear as he spread his palm over the expanse of her back and pushed, her breasts pressed flat on the table of the minor lord they were stealing from. The scroll they had been ordered to steal was in her pack and there was a high-level genjutsu placed on the door.

"You shut up!" Sakura grunted, wiggling slightly as she spread her legs further. "Just fuck me, kami.")

_and again...._

"After this mission, I'm going to ride you until that stick comes out of your ass," Sakura hissed into his ear, her fists clenched threateningly. Kakashi rolled his eyes and hoisted her up, princess-carry style. She wrapped her arms around his neck and let her head rest on his shoulder.

"Sure you can ride me in your condition?"

"What are you trying to say? That I can't do shit?" Sakura slurred, "I can do everything I want to do!"

"Yes, of course," Kakashi sighed. He was--he was a little worried about her, but that was only because he didn't want to lose another teammate, even if they didn't particularly get along unless they were naked and even then, not really. "Maybe you should get that poison out first."

"I can--I can totally--totally fuck you while poisoned."

" _Should_ you?"

(Later:

" _Stop_. Why do you have to be so stubborn? You can ride me next time."

"Fine, fine, just--ow, don't move my leg so far--ah, okay, oh, that feels good."

A grunt and a low moan echoed through the dark room.

"Shh. The nurses will hear."

"Maybe you shouldn't have snuck into my hospital room then, asshole.")

_and again._

He pinned her to the dirt of Training Ground 43, both of them breathing heavily, blood and mud dotting over their faces and their bodies. He held the kunai to her throat, a thin line of blood becoming to form.

"Yield," he snarled.

"Fine, yield," Sakura acquiesced, growling a bit under her breath. He pocketed the kunai and Sakura relaxed underneath him, groaning slightly. She pressed her face on the ground. Kakashi released her.

The moment he did, Sakura was flipping them over. He grappled with her, grunting a bit in pain as his back hit the ground where she had just been lying on.

"What the hell, Haruno, spar is over--"

The rest of his protests were muffled against her lips as she furiously kissed him, all teeth and tongue. She rubbed herself over him, his erection that he been ignoring brought back to life by the movement of her body. A low sound rumbled out of his throat and he flipped them both over until Sakura was flat on her back once more and staring up at him with fire and passion in her eyes as he pinned her arms to the side of her head, his grip tight. He stared at her, his chest heaving.

Anybody could just walk in on them at any point. This was a bad idea.

Sakura bucked against him, her ass rubbing on his crotch and Kakashi groaned before he delved back in to press his lips against hers, his body pressed to her front and radiating heat like a furnace. It took only a few moments before they were rutting against each other, their pants divested just enough for the primal act.

 

_*_

  
"I'm surprised you aren't with your girlfriend," Asuma drawled and Kakashi stiffened. Genma perked up in interest and propped his head upon his hand.

"What girlfriend," he said flatly and Asuma raised an eyebrow. He tilted his head and tapped his cigarette on the edge of the table, the ashes falling to the ground.

"You know," Genma chuckled, raising his hand a little above him, "This tall. Pink hair. Hates your guts but eye fucks you all the time."

Kakashi scowled at him. Asuma only smirked at him in response and raised an eyebrow, waiting for his response.

"She's not even my friend," he bit out, annoyed. Asuma scoffed.

"So what, enemies with benefits, that kind of thing?"

Kakashi glowered. "She's Sakura. Just Sakura."

"So you won't mind if I ask Sakura-chan out--"

  
In a flash, a kunai was embedded right beside Genma's arm and Genma choked, the senbon in his mouth clattering to the table as he gave Kakashi a mixed look of disbelief and amusement.

"Shut up," Kakashi grumbled and ducked his head, red flush peeking up from the edges of his mask.

Genma and Asuma exchanged an amused look.

"Guess you do mind, then," Genma snickered. Kakashi pulled out another kunai in a casual motion and Genma's mouth slammed shut as he paled.

"Mind your own damn business, Shiranui."

*

"Thank you for your report. Dismissed."

The two of them bowed low to the Sandaime. When they straightened up from their bow, Kakashi gave her a significant look and then disappeared through the window via shunshin. She smiled at the Hokage and then followed after him.

"Come home with me," Kakashi murmured into her ear.

"I'm dirty and gross," Sakura grumbled, pulling on the bottom of her shirt and Kakashi rolled his eyes. He slid a hand up underneath her shirt and splayed it out over her stomach, his touch sending a heated wave through her body.

"You're always dirty and gross."

Sakura growled. "You're so immature, Hatake."

"Between the two of us…" Kakashi trailed off. Sakura raised a fist in her usual threatening motion and Kakashi simply grabbed her wrist in his hand.

Next thing Sakura knew, they were racing over the rooftops and Kakashi was pushing her in through his window.

"Huh," she mused out loud, "I've never been in your place before."

He glanced around at his empty bedroom and shrugged. "It's nothing special."

He twisted and pushed her until she fell back on his bed. He eyed her, his eyes trailing over the way she was splayed out on his sheets, her pink hair fanning out on his pillow.

Beautiful.

He grimaced and shook the thought away. No. This was just about sex. He didn't even like her. He couldn't afford to. It was just sex. _Just sex, Hatake._

"Come on," Sakura breathed and pulled him in closer to her, her legs wrapping around his waist as she ground against him. He followed and ignored the thoughts running through his head.

That was the first time he brought her back to his apartment, but it wasn't the last.

*

"Oh my god," Sakura laughed, "Is this what you've been hiding under that mask?" She reached up, fingers gingerly brushing over his fangs.

Kakashi growled and playfully snapped his teeth at her, but she only giggled in response and pulled him in for a dirty, open-mouthed kiss.

This wasn't right, he thought. Yes, his dick was hard and straining against his pants, and he was aching to press into her, but Sakura's kisses were too playful. They shouldn't be laughing or joking around or smiling at each other while having sex.

They were supposed to be about the passion, the heat, the encompassing need to take and take and take until there was nothing left. There wasn't supposed to be anything else. Anxiety and restlessness bubbled up underneath his skin, and Kakashi was filled with the sudden urge to run away from Sakura's pretty smile and bubblegum hair.

When Sakura nipped at the skin of his jaw, all thoughts of escape leaked out of him. He groaned and tilted his head, the restlessness seeping out with every pass of her tongue and her lips against his neck.

She unzipped his pants and pulled out his cock, and he could finally feel how damp her panties were as she sat in his lap and ground on him, hips rocking and moving in a sensual motion. He held onto her waist, fingers digging in underneath her shirt and spreading out over her sides in a bruising grip.

She reached down and moved her underwear to the side as she gave him a playful look, and then next thing Kakashi knew, he was moaning out loud as she guided him inside of her wet heat, tight and clenching around his length.

"Come on," she panted, "Bite me. Show me what those teeth can do."

"I'll show you," he muttered and pushed himself up. The change of angle shifted his cock inside of her and she cried out, legs tightening around his waist and Kakashi couldn't help but grin in triumph. He latched on to her neck, sharp teeth scraping over the delicate skin. Just a few months ago, he wanted nothing more than to bite down and mar her picture-perfect skin, and now he finally could.

He kissed and sucked and nipped his way down to her shoulder, and then promptly bit down on the meat of it. She gave a startled sound as she tensed around him, her hands on his shoulders digging in until her nails threatened to draw blood.

"Oh," she moaned. "Fuck, Kakashi, that's good." She melted into his arms and tilted her head back to give him more access and Kakashi pursued it relentlessly. His teeth sunk in, just barely breaking the skin as he marked the skin of her shoulders and her neck with the proof of his passion.

"I love--oh god, fuck, ah, Kakashi, I love how you feel," she whispered, eyes dazed. Kakashi's heart skipped a beat and he bit down on her nipple, ignoring how her sentence didn't end the way he wanted, even as his stomach churned uncomfortably.

*

He started to notice the abundance of Sakura's things in his apartment. 

It started small.

A toothbrush, a shirt she had discarded and left behind and Kakashi had put in with his laundry, a spare change of clothes that turned into two and three until half his closet was made up of her reds and her pinks. A few books and scrolls on medical ninjutsu and genjutsu, and even a medic kit in his kitchen drawers.

And then it suddenly hit him when Sakura followed him home without question or asking, that huh. They pretty much lived together.

When he saw her paying for his apartment bills, he blinked and then helped her split it evenly.

It didn't mean anything, he told himself fervently. It was... practical. They both spent less. His apartment was nearer to the hospital too, and it was just convenient for the both of them. Practical. Yes. Kakashi was all about the practical.

This was all it was. Something practical. Kakashi could handle that.

*

"I've been thinking of getting a dog."

"Ooh, a puppy?"

Kakashi blinked down at her. "No. Well, yes. But I was thinking more along the lines of a summon, or a ninken."

"Why not?" Sakura smiled, and then furrowed her eyebrows. She hummed and leaned into his side, tapping her chin with her finger. "We need to get dog stuff though. I can always ask Hana."

Kakashi nodded distractedly in reply and reached up to absent-mindedly comb through her hair. She stilled for a moment but then relaxed into his hands, a contented sigh escaping her and Kakashi's lips twitched into a smile. She snuggled into his side.

"Where are you going to find a ninken?"

He paused, just for a moment, before he resumed the stroking of her pink hair, his nail scratching slightly down her scalp. "I was thinking of looking at my father's summoning scroll," he said stiffly, forcing himself to attain a casual, laid-back tone. He's never brought up his father to her, but he was sure that Sakura knew about Hatake Sakumo, Konoha's shame.

Sakura was silent at that, but before Kakashi could pull away, her hand was on top of his. She smiled and then gave it a light squeeze.

"That sounds like a good idea."

*

"What's she doing hanging around with him?"

The whispers followed them, just far enough that a normal civilian wouldn't have been able to overhear, but he was a shinobi and Hatake. He could hear them even from his distance. Beside him, Sakura stayed unaware, shifting the bag of groceries they had bought into her other arm. They didn't hold hands, that wasn't something they did. She wasn't his girlfriend, after all, just... Just someone he lived with. And had sex with, on a daily basis. Just Sakura.

"Friend Killer Kakashi."

"Cold Blooded Kakashi."

"He'll ruin her."

He ignored them.

The whispers followed and stayed in his mind, even when they were back home and Sakura was curled up in his arms.

_"He'll kill her too."_

*

"Pakkun, Pakkun," Sakura crooned as she lifts the puppy up into her arms and cradled him to her chest. Like a _baby_. Kakashi made a face.

"He's a ninken," he chided, "Start treating him like one."

Sakura glared at him as she scratched Pakkun behind his ears, and the traitorous pug's tail wagged ecstatically, his half-lidded eyes mocking Kakashi.

_Look at me, I'm in Sakura's lap and you're not._

Kakashi scowled.

"He's three months old," Sakura argued, sniffing slightly as she raised Pakkun up to his face. She pouted at him. "He's a puppy."

"Ninken," Kakashi repeated.

" _Puppy_."

Pakkun yipped in between them and Kakashi gave him a look.

"You're just afraid to admit you love him," Sakura declared confidently. Kakashi blanched. Pakkun was just a dog, his future partner, yes, and the start of his ninken pack but that was it. He had no time to love a dog. She gave him a smirk and brought Pakkun back to her chest, cradling him close. "It's okay, Pakkun, I'll love you enough for the both of us."

"You spoil him," Kakashi grumbled. "I _know_ you let him sleep on the bed when I'm not here."

"I get lonely, what do you want me to do?" Sakura asked and raised an eyebrow. A devious look crossed her features. "I can always ask Genma to--"

"No," Kakashi huffed. He glanced down at Pakkun in Sakura's arms, a contented look on his scrunched up face. He held out his arms and Sakura immediately deposited his dog into his arms. He relaxed. "Pakkun can sleep on the bed. But you have to help train him with tracking while I'm not here."

Sakura laughed and leaned in towards him to press her face against Pakkun's, giggling to herself. "Did you hear that, Pakkun?" she cooed, "Daddy says you can sleep in the bed with me." Pakkun huffed in pleasure and licked her face, little tail wagging furiously.

"He is _not_ going to call me daddy," Kakashi argued half-heartedly.

Sakura rolled her eyes and then shared a commiserating look with his dog. "Fine. Boss says you can sleep in the bed with me," she sighed and despite himself, Kakashi felt his lips twitch up.

He put Pakkun down and the pug immediately scampered to the kitchen, tripping over his feet as he ran.

He wrapped his arms around Sakura's waist and pulled her close to him, their bodies pressed together. She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Let's fuck?"

Sakura's smile immediately shifted and she made a face at him, lower lip jutting out.

"Sorry, I have to go soon."

"I can make it quick," he bargained and wiggled his eyebrows. She bit her lip and looked to the side thoughtfully. He slid his hands down her waist to her ass and squeezed them. She blushed.

"Okay, fine."

He threw her onto his bed and she shrieked, landing on her back.

"Kakashi!"

He jumped in after her and quickly pulled off his shirt. When it was off his head, he smirked at the sight of her wiggling out of her shorts and her underwear, her skirt hitched up to her waist. She spread her legs, the pink cloth of her skirt a tease on her thighs as she revealed herself to him.

He covered her body with his and shoved down his pants just enough so he could pull out his dick. She moaned as he thrust into her, a sound of mixed pleasure and pain, not quite wet enough to take him cleanly.

"Sorry," he mumbled with his mouth latched on to her neck. He reached down and pushed up her skirt before he stroked her. He moved slowly, shallow thrusts meant to stimulate, and soon enough, Sakura was wet and hot around him, staining the crotch of his pants as the dirty sounds of their skin slapping against each other echoed in his room.

She still ended up late.

 

*

He woke up with a start, Obito's eye bleeding and his heart hammering in his chest. He retched, dry heaves shaking his whole chest. He leaned over the edge of his bed, his hands trembling. He squeezed his eyes shut.

 _Rin_ …

He could smell the scent of her blood and hear the chirping of his Chidori. With his eyes closed, all he could see was the expression of her face as he thrust his hand into her chest, the blood that had spilled out of her lips, the wet squelch and feel of her insides against his bare arm.

_Rin!_

A hand grabbed on to his and Kakashi reacted without thinking, lashing out. His arm was blocked and he turned, his eyes wild, Obito's stinging in its socket as the blood dripped down his cheeks.

Sakura stared at him, her eyes soft.

It was a dream. Just a dream.

"Kakashi," she murmured. Kakashi pulled his arm back and turned away from her. He couldn't help but see Rin's face superimposed on hers, but it melded away until it was just her. Just Sakura, dead by his hand or by his negligence, her heart in his hand and tears in her eyes. Blood on his arms.

He felt the bile rise in his throat again and he yanked down his mask, clutching a hand to his chest as he retched.

Sakura's hand was gentle on his back.

*

"Oh, Sakura isn't with you?" Kurenai asked in surprise. Kakashi's lips pursed beneath his mask and he looked up at her, just a little bit annoyed.

"Why would she be?"

At his defensive tone, Kurenai raised her hands to appease him and shrug. "You're always together. That's it. I don't mean anything by it."

"Plus, everyone knows you're fucking," Anko added bluntly. "Those hickies don't lie, Hatake."

"We're not dating," Kakashi said flatly.

"So defensive," Anko crowed in triumph. She leaned in closer and leered at him. "I never said you were."

"As Hip and Cool your chill attitude is, your denial is not!"

How could they be dating? The word was so damn juvenile. Sure, they went out for lunch together a lot and sure, yes, they slept together literally and figuratively, and yeah--

Kakashi's head dropped into his hands. Oh god. They _were_ dating, weren't they?

Fuck.

*

He felt his blood run cold at the sight of her. She was in a temporary ANBU mask, hood around her head, and fitted in the greys of ANBU, disguising the shape of her body and hiding her face and her signature pink locks, but Kakashi could pick her out from a crowd on scent alone and the flimsy disguise was nothing. She stood in her usual proud stance, and beside her was the rest of Team Ro, all dressed up in their gear.

No… What was she doing here? She couldn't possibly be his mission partner for this mission.

He glanced at the Sandaime and at his glance, the Hokage took it as his cue to start the mission briefing.

"This is an A-Class mission, but there is a possibility of it tuning S-Class. Hound, Sakura will be accompanying Team Ro--"

"No."

The room turned silent. His team glanced at him, and even without the ability to see their expressions, he could sense their confusion. The Sandaime blinked, clearly taken off-guard. Underneath his mask, Kakashi flushed in embarrassment and gritted his teeth, his fists clenched at his side.

"Excuse me?" Sakura asked, tone deceptively sweet and hiding the anger. "Do you have a problem with me, Taichou?"

Kakashi ignored her and kept his eyes on his Hokage, back ramrod straight and chin up. "ANBU protocol states that two operatives who are involved together--"

"Kakashi!" Sakura snapped in disbelief.

"--are not allowed on missions together due to the possibility of it impeding the mission." He closed his mouth and waited for Sakura to protest, but she stayed silent, even as her chakra spiked and raged. Sarutobi-sama raised his eyebrows, his pipe loose on his fingers before he gave Kakashi a kind smile.

"Alright," he agreed easily. "Mouse is your new medic. Please inform them. Sakura, you may take your leave."

Kakashi nodded stiffly. Beside him, he could feel Sakura trembling in anger, but he ignored it until they were outside the Hokage's office.

The moment they were outside, after all, Sakura immediately turned to him and Kakashi knew he couldn't ignore her no matter how hard he tried.

"How dare you?" Sakura seethed as she took off her mask, revealing her angry features and her burning green eyes. Kakashi couldn't deny the flood of relief he felt when the mask was removed. It didn't belong on her. "We're not even together, you asshole."

Kakashi glared at her, refusing to back down even as she stepped up close in his space.

"We're sleeping together," he replied tersely and Sakura scowled, shoving him back. Gentle in her terms, but still enough to send him staggering back. Undeterred, she pressed up even closer and bodily pinned him against the wall. Kakashi felt his pants instinctively get tighter. Damn it. "We _live_ together."

"That was never a problem for you before! So what, we're only 'involved'," Sakura bit out, air quotes obvious in her tone, "when it's convenient for you? What's the real reason why you don't want me on this mission? Do you think I'm too weak for ANBU, is that it?"

She narrowed her eyes and Kakashi grit his jaw. "I don't have time for this," he snapped and pushed her off him. She stumbled back and gave him a hurt look. His chest throbbed and he quickly looked away, thankful for the mask hiding his face. If she could see the look on his face right now... He didn't have the right answers for her, didn't even know how to explain the feelings welling up deep inside of him, the conflicting mess that screamed at him to keep her by his side and yet reminded him to keep his distance.

She didn't belong in ANBU. Jounin missions with her were one thing, but ANBU… ANBU would ruin her. Whether she came back dead or alive, she wouldn't be Sakura any longer and Kakashi couldn't deal with that. He had no guarantee that he could protect her on this mission.

A flash of that--that _vision_ he had seen of Sakura dead in his arms went through his mind and he turned his back on her. If he looked at her any longer, he didn't know what he'd do.

He left her standing in the hallway, staring after him as he went back inside the Hokage office.

His team was blissfully quiet as Sandaime-sama continued detailing their upcoming mission. Even after, no one mentioned Sakura, even if Kakashi was sure they must have heard the almost screaming match between them just outside the door.

When he dropped back by his apartment, Sakura was thankfully gone, and he knew that she was most likely taking out her anger in the training field.

He whistled. Pakkun came plodding out of his bedroom, tail wagging as he sat in front of Kakashi.

"Take care of Sakura while I can't," he said quietly and Pakkun blinked before he nodded solemnly. He still hasn't said a word, but Kakashi knew that Pakkun was smart enough to understand his orders. This was an order he gave before every mission without her, and Pakkun knew it almost as well as his own name.

He couldn't bring Pakkun along on missions yet, but while he couldn't, it wouldn't hurt to let him feel useful.

"Good boy," he muttered, and then hesitantly, reached out and rubbed the back of his head. Pakkun wagged his tail quietly.

He quickly pulled away, and with one last look, exited through the window to meet his team at the gates.

*

"You idiot. You stupid, stupid, idiot," Sakura hissed. Kakashi blinked up at her and tried to smile.

"Sakura," he murmured, and her heart skipped a beat in her chest even as she glared down at his dazed features. He has never said her name like that before.

"You should have let me go with you!" Sakura snapped, "You almost died, Kakashi!"

"I didn't want you to get hurt..." he mumbled, so quietly that Sakura wasn't quite sure what he had said. "Didn't want to lose you too."

Sakura stiffened, her shoulders tightening even as she continued to pump healing chakra into his wounds, mending and healing the extensive damage he had taken.

"I can't lose you," he whispered and Sakura closed her eyes, pained.

"Shut up, Kakashi," she warned, choking on her words, the green glow of her chakra faltering.

"I love you."

"Shut up!" Her mystical palm technique cut off and she stared down at him, her eyesight blurred with tears and her chest heaving with the sobs that fought to come out. He blinked up at her dolefully and Sakura furiously shook her head before the glow returned to her hands and she pressed it back to the half-healed laceration on his chest.

"Don't say things like that! Don't say things you don't mean."

"I mean it," he insisted, his words sloppy in his mouth, almost indistinguishable. He felt a tear drop onto his face and the sudden wetness made him blink in bleary confusion.

"Sakura-san, you're too distracted to continue with this surgery," one of the older medic-nin murmured from beside her. "We'll take over."

"No!"

"No..."

They both turned to face each other, Kakashi shocked at Sakura's heated outburst. He wasn't quite sure if Sakura had heard his quiet protest, but from the look on her face, he could bet she did.

"He's mine--he's my patient. Don't you dare."

The last thing Kakashi saw before he finally succumbed to the darkness, was Sakura's fiercely protective glare as she blocked his body with hers.

*

He woke up to the familiar sterile scent of the hospital and something distinctly Sakura. He groaned, shifting slightly, but it only served to pull at newly healed wounds, his muscles sending warning signals down his entire body. Belatedly, he realized there was someone beside him and he turned his head.

Sakura was slumped over the chair, her eyes closed and breathing even.

Embarrassment suddenly overloaded his system as he remembered his dazed, blood-loss encouraged confession while Sakura had been healing him from the brink of death. He cringed. He reached up to touch his face and relaxed when he could feel his mask.

Slowly, careful not to make a single sound, he slipped out of the window.

He made his way back to their--his apartment and collapsed on his bed, groaning into his pillow. A love confession was never in his damn plans, Sakura was never supposed to know about his stupid feelings. He resisted the urge to scream and instead hit his bed on his pillow. Fuck.

The fatigue from the mission and his still sore muscles reminded him that he had almost died, and Kakashi found that he couldn't keep his eyes open. He should go, Sakura would come home and find him in their bed, and she was sure to be upset he had run off. But the pull of sleep won him over until slowly, Kakashi fell back asleep.

*

"I hate you!"

Kakashi jolted up in alarm at the pillow that came racing down his head. Instinctively, he rolled to the side to avoid the hit and then promptly groaned as his chest complained at the activity.

"How dare you!" Sakura yelled, uncaring of his pain. Ugh. "How dare you sneak out of the hospital again, after fucking telling me you loved me!"

"You're always so angry now," Kakashi groaned, covering his face. He ignored her last statement, even as the Kakashi inside of him cringed.

"Ugh!" Sakura screeched, "Because! You're such an asshole! You make me so angry, damn it!"

"You're so loud," Kakashi muttered, opening his eyes and glaring at her. He felt his heart skip a beat at the sight of her standing above him, like an angel come to smite him. It must have been her furious green eyes, and the ethereal quality of her pink hair falling down her face. Yes. That was definitely it.

"I can't believe I love you," Sakura snapped and Kakashi froze. Sakura seemed to realize what she just said because her eyes went wide and she flushed a deep red. A sudden stillness settled over him then, and Kakashi knew what he had to do--what he should have done all along.

"No," Kakashi said calmly.

"What?" Sakura asked, clearly flustered.

"No," he repeated. "Get out. Leave me alone."

She stared at him in disbelief, and in the corner, Pakkun whimpered.

"Kakashi--"

"Get out."

He was being an asshole, he knew it. Sakura had been living here for months and this was as much her home as his. He was kicking her out of her own apartment, but Kakashi didn't care. He couldn't bear to look at her and feel the swirl of emotions inside him, not when the last scraps of self-preservation in his bones begged him to shove her away.

He'd let this go on for far too long. He should have ended this before she ever had the chance to crawl underneath his skin and make a home there.

(But you knew, a small voice in his head whispers, that she was already there in your veins before you ever even kissed her.)

He should have never started this, whatever it was between them. He should have stayed clear of her, kept his dirty hands from tainting her, the only good thing he had left in the world. He was cursed and he knew it, he should have never let himself have her if he truly loved--no. Don't even think it. Don't even think that word.

Sakura gave him a sad, mournful look, her shoulders slumped like a broken marionette. There was no anger in her expression anymore, not even a trace of it. Just resignation. And then with one last look over her shoulder, she left.

Kakashi watched her go and felt his heart break into pieces. But it was okay. It was okay. She would be okay, she would be better without him.

Pakkun yipped from the corner and scratched at his bedpost. He whined, low and sad.

"Don't," Kakashi snapped and buried himself underneath the blankets once more. Dog couldn't even speak yet, but Kakashi could hear the judgment in his whine.

There was silence, and then Kakashi heard the telltale signs of Pakkun's padded feet exiting the room, leaving him too. He closed his eyes.

When he inhaled, he could smell the scent of her in his pillows and in his sheets, but it was okay. It was okay, even when he wanted nothing more but to call out for her to come back, to fill his bed with her presence and her dumb laugh and keep his sheets smelling exactly like her. It was okay.

Nobody was there to see him cry.

*

"Kakashi?" Pakkun whined and nudged her arm. Sakura froze and then glanced down at him in disbelief. They've been trying to get Pakkun to speak for a while now. It was normal for ninken to start talking at around 4 months of age and Kakashi was intent on getting Pakkun out into the field. But Pakkun has only spoken in yips and barks and whines, all dog and no hint of human speech--but _now_?

"I can't believe that's your first word!" Sakura cried out as she threw her hands out in frustration, but Pakkun only tilted his oversized head to give her a doleful look. Out of all the words. Out of all the times. She scrubbed a hand over her face and shook her head.

"Kakashiiiiiii," Pakkun sniffled, little puppy sniffles that just about broke Sakura's heart. He nuzzled into her stomach and Sakura faltered, hesitating a bit and her annoyance died away. Pakkun gave her puppy dog eyes and Sakura broke. She gave in and curled up around him, Pakkun nestled against her as she stroked down his little back.

"Kakashi?" Pakkun asked again, voice small. Sakura closed her eyes.

"I know," she whispered. "I miss him too."

*

Her things stayed in his apartment. At first, Kakashi could convince himself that nothing had changed, but it was hard to pretend after nights of coming home to cold sheets and an empty house.

When a stack of scrolls that he knew was hers suddenly disappeared, Kakashi couldn't deny the cold chill that came over him. He raced over to their--his closet and yanked it open, and his knees weakened in relief at the sight of her clothes still there. He checked the bathroom, and her toothbrush, her shampoo, and her soap were exactly where she had left them. He checked the shelves and the bookcases, and it was only when he saw that the rest of her books and scrolls were still there that he allowed himself to relax.

He rubbed a hand down his face and shook his head at his paranoia. Why did it even matter? So what if she got back her things?

This wasn't like Pakkun's regular disappearances. As much as Pakkun loved Sakura, he was loyal to Kakashi first and foremost. If he were to order the pup to stay away, he would, but Kakashi's orders have only ever been to protect her. With Pakkun, Kakashi knew he'd come back. But Sakura...

He swallowed and looked up at the ceiling, his heart clenching painfully in his chest.

What if she never came back?

*

"You can touch my paws, it'll make you feel better," Pakkun said seriously as he raised a paw. Sakura's lip twitched and she let herself smile.

"Thank you," she laughed softly and reached out to touch the supple pink flesh. "Very soft." She reached out to rub his head and then his back, the smile fading from her lips and the light dimming from her eyes.

Her hand stilled on his back and she bit her lip, looking away. "You know... You can go back to him, Pakkun. He's your boss. You don't have to stay with me."

Pakkun whined again and shook his head, pressing up against her leg. "Orders," he insisted.

Sakura frowned. "What did he order you to do?"

Pakkun sat back on his haunches and looked up at her, tail tucked against his side.

"Keep Sakura safe."

*

She found him in his usual spot, right in front of the Memorial Stone. She walked over to him and let her chakra run free. When he didn't disappear and only turned to face her, Sakura straightened up and punched him.

He let her, staggering back from the force of her blow. She had held back, but it was enough to knock him onto his ass. He stared up at her, his eyes wide and his lips parted.

"I am strong," Sakura declared, glaring over him, sunlight basking behind her and framing her with its glow, "I am capable, I can handle myself, and I may not be as strong as you,"--and something in Kakashi ached, because her ability to save lives was worth so much more than his to take them, didn't she understand that?--"but I can take everything you hand me and more."

"I know," Kakashi said roughly. "But I can't lose you--"

"--you won't--"

"You can't promise that--"

"I'm just saying!"

"I've lost _everyone_ ," Kakashi seethed as he cut her off, his fists clenching at his side. His visible eye was a molten grey that threatened to consume her and Sakura felt herself take a step back. "Everyone I've ever loved has died."

"If you walk away from now," Sakura spoke, voice shaking even as she kept her head up. Tears threatened to spill from the corners of her eyes and Kakashi looked away, grief a heavy weight on his shoulders. "If you walk away now, you're still going to lose me. I'm going to die someday, yes, of course, we're shinobi. but it's your choice whether you get to have me before that."

Kakashi looked away and pressed his hands to his face.

He laughed, the sound ugly in between them, and Sakura flinched.

"Don't you hear what they say about me?" he asked bitterly. "Cold-Blooded Kakashi. Friend-Killer Kakashi." Obito's Sharingan gave a painful twinge at his words and he pressed a hand to the hitai-ate covering it. _I'm sorry_ , he thought to Obito.

Sakura's face fell, her features softening. Slowly, she kneeled down. Kakashi looked up, his shoulders stiffening as she stretched out her arms towards him.

"Fuck them," Sakura said roughly and then pulled him into a tight hug. Kakashi grunted, his eyes wide as his hands hovered over her back, unsure of what to do, even if every fiber in his being just wanted him to melt in her embrace and to wrap his arms around her.

"You're just Kakashi to me."

Kakashi gave in. He pressed his face to her shoulder and hugged her to him. He trembled in her arms, and Sakura said nothing.

"Please…" Sakura whispered, her voice choked with emotion as her grip tightened on the back of his ANBU vest. "Let me love you."

"Okay," Kakashi relented, his words coming out rough. He squeezed his eyes shut and breathed in her familiar scent that he had missed the past few weeks. Despite himself, he could feel his muscles loosening and relaxing at the smell of something he had begun to associate as home, even if he wouldn't admit it. He had missed her.

"Okay."

*

"Boss," Pakkun piped up. Kakashi looked down and then glanced over at Sakura to make sure she was still sleeping before he bent down to get closer to Pakkun's eye level.

"You took care of her?" he asked quietly and Pakkun nodded dutifully. Kakashi nodded back. "Thank you."

There's silence as dog and master stare at each other and then Kakashi reached out his hand. "I missed you too," he said casually and Pakkun snorted slightly, his tail wagging at his side. Cold-Blooded Kakashi wasn't expected to ever show affection, even to his dog, much less Friend-Killer Kakashi.

But those were just titles.

He was just Kakashi.

"You're welcome," Pakkun simply replied. He bumped his head against Kakashi's fingers and then trotted away. He jumped up into the bed and took his place beside Sakura. He looked at Kakashi expectantly and raised an eyebrow. Huh. Where did he learn that from?

Kakashi shook his head in amusement and slipped in under the covers to join his dog and his girl.

  
*

"Kakashi-sensei, isn't that your girlfriend?" Naruto crooned, batting his eyelashes in a ridiculous flutter, and that paired with the pout of his lips and the way his hands were clasped across his chest as he swooned was almost enough for Kakashi not to roll his eyes. Almost. He had to stifle a giggle though, so he'd give that to Naruto.

"She's not my girlfriend," he corrected in that tired, bland sort of way from years and years of denial. "That's just Sakura."

His trio of troublesome boys rolled their eyes but stayed quiet as Just Sakura made her way towards them, the brilliant smile on her lips matching with her brilliant green eyes. She gave him a peck on the cheek and ignored the retching and the sounds of disgust from his genin.

She touched his arm and squeezed it. "Kakashi, Iruka is asking about your mission report from last month."

"Ah," Kakashi hummed and tapped his chin, "I did it, but I left it by the window. Next thing I knew, a poor bird used it for his nest."

"Of course," Sakura replied solemnly as she nodded agreeably. "Can't deny the bird, after all."

He nodded back, and Sakura's serious expression broke as she smiled up at him. "I'll be a little late tonight, but I'll be home."

"Maa," he grumbled, even as he wrapped an arm around her waist to press masked lips to the top of her forehead. "If you're not home tonight, I'll starve to death."

She huffed in amusement and swatted him on the arm just hard enough that it hurt and he had to strain himself not to wince in front of Sai, Naruto or Sasuke. He'd never hear the end of it from them. She bid him goodbye in the same breath she kissed him once more and then walked away, her hips swaying deliciously.

Kakashi ignored the exasperated look Sasuke and Naruto share, and the confused one Sai wore on his face. He gave them a mild, slightly terrifying smile.

Yup. Definitely just Sakura.

**Author's Note:**

> My kakashi sim died recently and left behind Sakura and their 5 kids, so here's a fic where they're happy together.
> 
> (I mean, he's back as a ghost in my household and Sakura totally had ghost sex with him, but that's not the point.)
> 
> man, this was pretty hard to write bcos I couldn't really get a good handle on teenage Kakashi?? This is such a weird age for him. He was known as Cold Blooded Kakashi bcos of ANBU and had all of those PTSD issues, and he wasn't the uptight rules-rules-rules teen pre-Kannabi, but he wasn't the pervert, always late, perpetually chill Kakashi-sensei either. I couldn't find a good balance there. i think i'm going to stick to present Kakashi. also Pakkun?? how would baby Pakkun act? I can't imagine bby Pakkun acting that mature so.
> 
> but. in other words. this was supposed to be short, like 5k at most, and then this happened. whyyyy.
> 
> i'm on [tumblr](https://senju-sandwich.tumblr.com)


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